i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
