All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
