Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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