Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
