how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
