i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
