I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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