Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
