I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
