i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
