Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
