hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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