I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
