i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
