Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
