Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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