I'm really into asian looking animals
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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