first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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