I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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