Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
