My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just blew my weed a kiss
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
