Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
