i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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