Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
