New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
