i just wanna soil my oats bro
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
