DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
