just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
