If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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