google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
be right there i have to get my cape
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
