omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
