I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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