dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
