So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
She announced her abortion via fbk
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
