Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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