if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
