Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just found a bag of teeth...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
