oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
whose ass print is on the piano?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
