Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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