What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
