my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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