Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
