I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I think your dad took our porno
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
