ya dads aren't the best wingmen
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Are my feet made of real feet?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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