Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
