so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
