She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
