Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
