It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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