Me too!
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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